Sometimes it feels a bit silly to feel as enamored with a band like Modern Baseball. Not because they’re bad, but because they graced my life with their music for such a short time and 8 (9?) years later, they still touch every corner of my life in small ways that can only be described as insignificant moments to the common eye. A while ago, I wrote this substack on how The 1975 shaped certain aspects of my life and while I absolutely love that band with my whole being, Mobo was my first true love. Trying to write or describe something that has changed your entire life can be hard, which is why I’ve been putting it off. Recently, I’ve been trying to take a different approach to writing my feelings and instead, to write when it feels right, not when I think I have all the words. One day those words might come, and if not today, then that’s okay.
Modern Baseball can be described as an emo/indie rock/folk rock band from Philly, PA, but they can also be thought of as a whiny, angsty, and misguided rock band for teenagers who hate their parents and love PBR beer, which at times could also be true. Regardless of what the internet (TikTok) says about them, the (subjective) truth is that their music encapsulates what it feels like to be a young adult in a more raw and emotionally charged way than what any other type of music has been able to do for me. If you want to know about them, take a look at this video below. <3
To reiterate what was mentioned in the video above, Modern Baseball started making music in 2011 and released their first full-length album in 2012 with Sports. At the time, I was a freshman in high school and wasn’t huge into the indie rock scene at all. I grew up listening to my Dad’s music, which for the most part was 80s and 90s rock mixed in with dad-rock such as Nickelback and Seether. During middle school and early high school, I picked up music in the emo/pop-punk scene and that’s kind of where I stayed at for the most part. I was deep into bands like A Day to Remember, Underoath, Senses Fail, and Scary Kids Scaring Kids. As my little self ventured more into Tumblr though, I was able to learn more about different music that I hadn’t heard of before, such as the Front Bottoms and Modern Baseball, and that’s where my story kind of starts with them. I feel like I was just a victim of getting into them a bit too late and not really fully loving their music until 2015. As a 17/18 year old, they rocked my world. I remember seeing the music video for The Weekend for the first time and thinking how cool it must have been to be there and to be in shitty basement parties like that and get drunk with your bestest friends. For a lack of better words, it was pure nostalgia porn with college kids getting fucked up to shitty beer and the intoxication of young love.
As they grew up from that, their music did too. Mental health took a lot from Brendan, one of Mobo’s vocalists, and was the forefront of much of their last album, “Holy Ghost”. This, along with the loss of Jake’s grandfather, led to them creating an environment that, in retrospect, was unhealthy and unsustainable and in 2017 they broke up. There is a lot that I wish I could have changed from 2015-2017. Eddie (my roommate at the time) and I had extremely similar music tastes and actually had tickets for their last show. I remember getting an email saying that our tickets were going to be refunded due to Bren’s declining mental health. A few weeks later, Modern Baseball posted saying that they were going on an indefinite hiatus. 7 years later and they’re still not back; I don’t think they ever will be. Jake, one of the vocalists, now is successful with his own band, Slaughter Beach Dog (a band that deserves its own substack post). Sean, the drummer, started his own band as well named Steady Hands. Ian, the bassist, produces music and is also part of Slaughter Beach Dog. Bren unfortunately is nowhere to be seen. All I hope is that they’re okay and living in a better mindset than before.
Modern Baseball burned brightly in my life as a high school/college kid trying to figure themselves out. Their music helped me navigate my depression and was kind of like a lighthouse, guiding me and protecting me from the rocky shores of my mind. A lot of what they write about in their music helped me deal with my feelings of missing someone or something; the pain of not knowing what you want to do; the lack of self love and the attempts at trying to reclaim it.
As a last attempt at hoping you listen to at least one of their whiny, beautiful songs, here are the lyrics to “Home”. A song that reminds me of my partner, my time in Pennsylvania, and missing friends that I have yet to meet.
Blind of our futures
Destined to shoes we know won't fit
Riding high amongst the ignorance
I'm guessing for the bliss
Counting down the days and hours till we meet again
I'll scream through all these trees
This voice I'll project
If you love don't let it go from
We will be the first to wonder
Where life meets living
I'll wish full forever, I've been wishful all along
And we can plot and plan, make our mends
But what we got, it will never be gone
Rip through me, rip through my words
Pour me out, push me forwards
Take all that I got to give, cause these times were made for ending
(Though I wish they weren't)
I'll love you forever, Hell I've loved you all along
And since screams and shouts
Won't stretch these clocks
Let's live our time by
"Oh just one more song"
Late at night you'll be tucked up
I'll be cold but you'll soon suck up
All that I've got to give
And to be honest I'm quite okay with it
If you love don't let it go from
We will be the first to wonder
Where life meets living
(Your hands, hold tight, don't spend all of your time tryna remember living)
We don't need a place and time, no
We got all the places and times we need
Or so we think
Their recently released demos threw me for a spin the day they were released. It was cathartic to listen to “Rock Bottom” and “Pothole” for the millionth time, but from a different angle. It took me back to the dark holes that I succumbed to during my youth and all the times that I kept climbing out of my mental pit, desperate for life and longing to meet my future self. I’m happy to report to you all that I met my future self and I love her so much.
thanks for reading ✦*͙*❥⃝∗⁎.ʚɞ.⁎∗❥⃝**͙✦